.fangirling:
.blog entries:
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.raine
.likes
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.loved
.contact?
Things are weird. I am weird. And my mood is very easily shoved into overdrive anger, sad, or happy. Unfortunately the happy never lasts very long, as the few things that make me are soon replaced by something stressful or stupid. For the moment.
Seems some things won't change, even though I thought perhaps enough time had passed. Obviously I was wrong, and obviously I should now just cut off completely. But then it puzzles me about why it wasn't completely cut off, from the otherside. Why leave me a means of contact if you don't want one?? But whatever.. It's not as if in the time that we'd ever known each other that either of us shared. Apparently. But I'm becoming more inclined to believing this day by day. But more so, I am adamant that I am not the only one to blame.. Takes two. Definitely. But whatever.. Not like any of that matters anymore. No one is caught up about it except myself. And so I must make the conscious decision to cut off. Because I've waited, and nothing. And now I am convinced that nothing further will ever come.
09-06-09
I'm about to lose my SHIT at people. In general. At my business partner. At everything. Oh my god. FRUSTRATION. So so so much frustration.
If my partner would only take a BREAK. Maybe ONE fucking day off in a week, as he hasn't for the last 2-3 months.. MAYBE then he would be able to concentrate on something other than cooking and I would have some fucking help with all this paper work and legalities. MAYBE.
Juggling a 2 person job AND uni is not working well, and both are suffering. I can't abandon one, and yet I can't do both.
Oh and ofcause social and friend life gets about a 10percent of the leftover time that I have. Which is pretty much non existant. So in other words I'm sure about atleast 3 of my good friends think I am ignoring them or don't care. When I don't even have time to drop a call because then I would have to try and organise a time to hang out (which I want to do, trust me) but when the fuck do I have time to do that when I have five million other things, most which are considerably more pressing?? Not more fun, just more pressing.
So what.. Basically I'm supposed to do two people's work, plus 3rd year uni (which is pretty bad with a PART TIME job as it is) And get time to see family and friends.. Hm.. Maybe if there were 48 hours in a day. Maybe.
